What is that one thing you wanted as a child?
I bet you eagerly wanted to be an adult. Being an adult meant doing whatever you wanted to do. Why can’t you do the things adults do? Why is the answer always “no” whenever you ask for a cool toy, snack, or game? This question I often asked myself, and finally when I was six years old, I was able to come up with an answer.
It involved alcohol, peppermints, and command mints, as I heard them called.
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Give me that beer
During the Christmas season of 1999, my parents threw a big party at our place. Many adults and kids showed up. When it was time to eat and drink, I noticed something that would bother me. My parents would serve adults beer and kids sodas. As a child, this is what I observed at all our parties. Finally, I had enough and decided that I would also drink beer with the adults.
This commandment continued at all our parties we threw as the months and years passed.
Finally, I had enough and decided that I would also drink beer with the adults. Of course, I knew my parents wouldn’t allow it, so I needed to do it without them noticing. I hatched a plan.
Once another event gathered everyone and my parents went into the kitchen, I seized my chance. I approached a man drinking beer and asked him for a sip. I couldn’t believe it, he agreed.
I regretted it almost immediately. The beer was so bitter that I ran out of the living room and locked myself in the room; I think I may have cried, too.
Lessons from the beer
For kids:
Generally, adults are better equipped to handle tough issues. Maturity and life experience aside, adults have different preferences and tolerance from kids.
I. Do honor the differences of age and respect them.
Generally, adults are better equipped to handle tough issues. A good example is how they are able to willingly drink beer despite its bitterness. You would think they would stop at the first sip but yet they keep going.
I took one sip myself and couldn’t handle the taste at all.
II. Do not take the name adult in vain by rushing to be just like adults, even with something simple like alcohol.
You can’t handle the tough things that adults do in the first place. Your brains just aren’t developed enough to shoulder the hardships of life any more than a foal is developed enough to carry a human rider. Did you notice you don’t usually work, pay taxes, or drive?
For adults:
Can you imagine what would have happened if I drank a bottle instead of taking only a sip? It wouldn’t have taken long for me at all to become inebriated, considering my small size and that I was underweight. My parents would have punished me either by scolding me or … the belt.
III. Do not allow kids to consume beer, for reasons besides its bitter taste.
It could have even affected my future as well if my parents weren’t strict, and ignored me instead.
IV. Do not enable kids in bad habits.
If I ignored the taste in my desperation to be like the adults, I could develop an addiction at that age and would constantly do whatever I could to get a beer.
***
Give me those sweets
Drinking wasn’t the only adult thing I wanted to do when I was a child.
I wanted to be a shopkeeper for one reason only: the sweets. As a kid, I was always fascinated by how those workers could be surrounded by so many sweets and not eat them. At the time, I didn’t realize that the reason was that shopkeepers needed to make money by selling their sweets, not eating their profits.
Since I was excited about this career path, I told my mother that I wanted to be a shopkeeper when I grew up. Mind you, I previously told her I wanted to be a lecturer. Understandably, she was confused and irritated. Why would I want to be a shopkeeper anyway? She didn’t ask me in words.
V. Do honor the shopkeeper and all career choices.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with being a shopkeeper, considering we need their services. However, my mother thought that this dream was not allowing me to realize my full potential. I met this reaction with frustration. Why couldn’t she accept that I wanted to be a shopkeeper?
However, as an adult, I have since realized I don’t want to run a shop due to how challenging the role is. It was not as simple as it appeared to me in the past. Shopkeepers must have strong inventory management skills to strike a balance between overstocking or understocking their shelves, controlling expenses, and monitoring cash flow. A huge part of their job is customer service. Their stock is dependent on their customers and supply and demand, not just candy they can snack on themselves. I still wonder.
Lessons from the sweets
For adults:
Sometimes kids can be shallow as they simply don’t know any better. When asking them what they want to be when they grow up, listen carefully.
VI. Do not kill their imagination. Be sure to ask about their preferred career path in easy terms of things they enjoy doing and what could help make them a good living. Typically, kids don’t understand the challenges that are prevalent in that job and instead focus only on the advantages.
Imposing a career on your child, it is a mistake to say, “You want to be a shopkeeper? Why can’t you be a doctor instead?” By framing it this way, you are already pressuring your child down a specific career path, a path they may have no interest in. Instead, find out why your child loves the career they want to pursue.
VII. Do explain exactly what chores that job actually does.
If their reasons seem shallow or ridiculous, work to redirect their dreams.
For kids:
At the end of the day, growing up is inevitable. You might want to rush into adulthood because it appears fun, but adulthood comes also with many expenses and responsibilities.
VIII. Do, as a kid, keep the privilege of not having to think about paying for anything. Overall, you may be desperate to grow up.
Right now, I struggle to pay rent every month.
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This is now a single pic:
Give me the car keys
IX. Do describe the challenges of adulthood along with all the advantages of childhood.
However, also be careful to convey life in a way that doesn’t demonize adulthood to the extent that discourages them from wanting to grow older at all.
X. Do let your child enjoy their youth without coveting adulthood. Teach them lessons big and small as they grow. Let them learn to handle adult responsibilities with confidence.
