To Sleep — Perchance to Get Some Rest

“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes, you will lie down, and your sleep will be sweet,” Proverbs 3:24. 

This Bible verse never rang true in my mind, nor did I ever understand it that well until I started noticing a change in my sleep resulting in insomnia. You see, these are such verses that must arrive at the moment you don’t know what is happening around you in your life. Maybe they are verses sent from God after all. 

College days and freelancing nights

Well, I have been a very busy person, placing value on my external wellness at the expense of my internal health. It all started back when I arrived at the campus of the University of Nairobi, Kenya. Those were the days when survival on campus was an essential matter. It was as if this was the place where the theory of natural selection, or the survival of the fittest, intensified.

In my freshman year, I eventually got used  to the new environment. You know how difficult it is to adapt. This is a point where people are most easily swayed into attempting activities they have never done before. I was not left out in all this. I found myself occupied with activities that were supposed to help me survive on campus. Around this time, there were quite a good number of online jobs, and so I got myself into the freelancing industry.

Luckily most of these jobs were mainly done at night. During the day, I would focus on my academics, and then at night I would turn to my freelancing job. Survival is one phenomenon of life that, to me, is still a mystery. The pressure that comes with surviving is just overwhelming. This is the point where phrases like “Let the sleeping dog lie” or “The rich never sleep” hit hard. The dilemma where you do not know whether to do something or not may lead to the fear of the unknown . For me, this was what could happen if I prioritized sleep over my survival, where survival translated into making money.

If you were in my shoes, you would eventually prioritize survival first and then everything else much later. I could wake up, attend my lectures, run a few errands around school, hang out with my friends around town, and at dusk, I would take my supper, which always came early, before getting ready for nighttime activities. I would work almost the whole night from 8:00 pm past 3:30 am, then I would do some of my coursework, and a short rest between the hours of 4:30 and 6:00. 

Basically I slept for an hour and a half. Yes, and on a daily basis. 

No complaints, at first

My body surprisingly never complained of fatigue or anything of that sort. Little did I know that my body’s engine was running out of oil and depending on the small reserves meant for emergencies. I never felt any alarm or an indicator that my body was soon leading me down the road to a breakdown. Sure, even a machine needs adequate time to rest its components to perform better. But was I a machine or a human being who needed to survive on campus? I continued this habit for the next three years, and everything was moving along well enough.

Then came the fourth and final year in my studies at the university to complete my degree. Suddenly, the online tasks began to diminish. I could find only one job to work on, unlike previously when I could find several tasks to take on. This meant that I would now be working shorter hours during the night, for instance, from 8 pm to 10:30 pm, and then I was done. That’s when I realized I was doing a great injustice to my own health.

Indeed, choices have consequences. It dawned on me that all this while I have been trying to turn a deaf ear to all the signs my body was sending me with the frequent loss of appetite and the frequent feeling of boredom. It turns out even the intense feeling of fearing the unknown was my body trying to show me the signs that I was depriving it of a very essential activity, sleep. 

I could get to bed at 11:00 pm, but instead of sleeping, I would turn over and over in my bed in an attempt to get to sleep without success. The tossing and turning could take the better part of the night, accompanied by overthinking and a buildup of stress until around 4:00 am, when sleep would finally find me. 

Is sleep a priority?

I suffered the results of my activities. Sleep had never crossed my mind as something of great importance to my general well-being. It was more or less the least of my priorities. 

I was now forced to bring my day and night back to those of a normal person. It was difficult, for sure, to reset my sleeping routine, but I had no other option. I started reading about the importance of sleep and how it can affect someone’s mental health, and I was shocked by what I read. Each time I read an article, it resonated with me, and I felt guilty for having been so mean to myself by not prioritizing sleep.

I even came across another verse in the Bible that says, “It is in vain that you rise early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep,” Psalm 127:2. 

A good night’s sleep is a godsend

From this point on, I realized that sleep was not just a mere occurrence in the body of animals, but rather a divine thing, one of the best that God gave us. All this while I was harming my body by overworking it rather than giving it a little time to recuperate. 

While God grants us sleep freely to help our bodies and give our mind rest, this is the time I felt of drawing us close and revealing most plans towards us through our dreams. Doubtless, when you wake up in the morning, you feel more energetic and rejuvenated after a long, tiresome day.

According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (Brain basics: Understanding sleep), a normal sleep stretch should be between 7 – 9 hours, at specific times when the brain releases hormones responsible for sleep. God or nature created the night so that we might set aside our duties and take that time to sleep and trust that we can release the burden of control of our lives all night.

Finally, I appreciated the fact that quality sleep is not directly in my power. Beyond the refreshment that comes from sleep is the great power of a restart that manifests during the time we are asleep. This is the time frame when healing arrives, and afterwards comes the feeling of renewed health on waking up. 

What by day and what by night

What is our way? What is our purpose? 

How different is each day upon waking? I shall always remember that I can perform much more by day when I sleep well night by night. 

I make it a priority.