Sidekicks: Who’s the Real Master Around Here?

My cat is my dog. Well, he’s a cat, but he acts like a dog because the first year or so of his life, his only exposure to other pets was a dog, so he has dog tendencies. But he’s also my dog, man. Like, ride or die. 

Patrick Chaos Meowhomes was born in Redbud Estates, a local community in MHK, on October 7th, 2018 in the early afternoon. I recall the day well. I was less than a year out of my most recent, and hopefully last, institutionalization and my friend had learned that her cat was pregnant with two kittens. I could have the runt.

The day was crisp in the small home I resided in at the time; drafty doors and limited insulation on the roof made living there uncomfortable. It was worse for my friend, who lived in the oldest trailer in an even older park, and the early onset of winter was not kind to her homestead. She asked me for help.

Bringing her a space heater, I had to warm my car and hope the E light on my display was not ominous. By the time I got to her house, her roommates had left for warmer digs for the day. My friend was left alone with her pregnant momma cat.

I said hi and noticed that she was wearing layers. I was not cool leaving her by herself there, but she assured me that the space heater in her bedroom with the door closed would be good for the night before the predicted break of the cold streak. She was more worried about her plethora of pets; including cats, dogs, mice, and boyfriends. But momma cat meowed as if I should get the hell out.

I showed myself out of her place. I said goodbye briefly, as my friend ducked into her room and closed the door. Driving back to mine, I could not help but to think that a space heater was nice and all, but considering her situation, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to even take care of one kitten, let alone a whole litter. 

When I pulled into the driveway in the alley behind my place, I received a text announcing that I was now a new cat dad. Within minutes of the installation and usage of said space heater, momma cat had settled into her cubby and given birth. A regular life event. And now, for me, a cat to worry about. Correction: kitten.

While the stories in the last six and a half years centered around this cat are, quite literally, endless and insane on so many different levels, I would merely like to impart my experience concerning pet ownership, most recently about Patrick Meowhomes: pets rule. 

Seriously, my cat lives here. I just pay rent. To that end, my best friend is fond of reminding me of that. When I recount in detail an elaborate and altogether unbelievable predicament Patrick created for me or himself or us both – which ends in Patrick cutting my brake cables or some other such thing – my friend is never surprised. My cat is certainly on my watch list.

Watch Patrick prance and play, catch his simple gaze, brush his claws along your palm. Cuddle. Cats, dogs, pets… we do not deserve these beasts in their domestication and we fail in our foolhardy attempts to fight against nature in ways that other animals would never or could never try to. We are lucky to not be alone merely within our shared humanity; we also have our animal companions beside us, and sometimes over us. Even if they do cut our brakes.

“Pat Head”, Seven Black, 2025