Starting Anew Within the Old

The move

Growing up, I always thought I would get an apartment near the city. Something bigger but cozy, and not a pain to clean. It would ideally be on the cheaper side, so I could leave it every so often to go traveling, embark on big adventures, and create amazing memories.

That opportunity came soon after I finished college when I got to move to Japan as part of a cultural exchange program and live on my own for the very first time. I was excited to start my new life somewhere so far away — in a land that created the media that shaped my childhood to adulthood, abundant with delicious food, and home to so many cultural sites. I had been studying Japanese in college, so I was extra excited to interact with people and really surround myself within a new environment.

A three-year arc

Living abroad allowed me to immerse myself in the language and culture. My Japanese proficiency improved the more I applied my studies, and my confidence grew as I continued to interact and make Japanese friends. I think what really helped me become more comfortable in a foreign country were the friends I made who were also immigrants with whom I could talk and reminisce.

There were some things I missed about being in the U.S., and some more things that irked me while living in a foreign country, but all in all, I loved my life in Japan. Three years was plenty of time for me to get a feel for living on my own, become my own person, and amass a load of amazing travel experiences to think fondly of. So, when my visa expired, I decided it was time to close that chapter of my life and return to where I left my American story.

So, do I really need to be responsible?

As soon as I moved back home, I immediately moved out to live with my friend. I missed my family, don’t get me wrong, but my learned independence was too hard to give up, and I wanted to continue that lifestyle. 

After having worked consistently for about eight years by then, I wanted to take my time finding a job again. At first, I wanted a break for a few months. But who knew it would take ten months to find another stable job?

Not only that, but I had to get new legal documents: my driver’s license had expired, my physical address had changed, my bank accounts had to be updated, and my passport and Global Entry also needed to be renewed.

And let’s not forget: getting a phone plus a new number, a car now that I can’t rely on trains or my trusty bike anymore, another laptop now that my faithful one of six years was on its last legs, and a slew of furniture to go into my new abode. Mostly everything had to be used, of course, because I was quickly racking up credit card debt to enjoy my new solo living.

Health insurance, dental insurance, an optometrist, and new medications didn’t exactly make reintegrating back into American life any easier, either.

On top of everything else, I had to figure out my tax situation now that I was back on American soil. While living in Japan, I was also part of the mandatory pension program, so working out how to get my money transferred over, how much the fees were to take care of it in Japan, and how much taxes were going to be in California made me seriously contemplate leaving the $2,000-ish amount with the Japanese government.

My social life

Setting my life back up was an overwhelming challenge. There were so many things that needed to be accomplished in order for me to enjoy myself again. But once I was back on my own two feet, I was excited to go back out and meet up with familiar faces. I had made a couple of trips back home throughout the years, but it was never enough time to do everything I had wanted to do before I had to get back on that 12-hour flight.

It was great to be able to talk face-to-face, in real time, and to physically hold my friends and family. Re-visiting my old haunts and finding new restaurants was also an exciting adventure as I re-familiarized myself with the area. 

The sad thing was that some of the friends that I thought I had close relationships with ended up fizzling out. I did my best to keep in touch with the friends I made abroad, but much of our conversations were hard to maintain due to the different countries, let alone the time zone differences. So, when I realized that some of my friends had either moved on or moved away, it felt like I missed out on the opportunity to keep our relationship intact. Not to mention finding my favorite places either closed down or changed beyond familiarity — I’ll never be able to enjoy fro-yo on my way back home from a jog ever again.

But on the brighter side

Life happens. Even if I did stay in my hometown, friends would’ve moved away, I would’ve changed careers, and that corner restaurant I went to every month would’ve closed its doors eventually. The “fear of missing out” makes one try to take life on and tackle new challenges. But it can also be applied to not wanting to change, too. 

What if I leave, and I end up missing these life events? I was just here last month, how is it gone already? Why should I move to somewhere I don’t know anybody?

I’ve dealt with some hard life events while in the States and living abroad in Japan. However, I don’t regret starting that new journey because it consisted of multiple smaller trips and adventures that I feel truly helped establish my character and outlook. Re-integrating myself back into my old life was challenging, but it wasn’t impossible. The experiences I gained helped me cultivate new relationships, which then led to even more exciting adventures.

Rolling with the punches is a life skill I try to maintain, and I wholeheartedly encourage anybody to try taking that leap of faith. Because more often than not, you can go back to that starting point and try again.