Show Stage Fright the Stage Door 1-2-3

1 — Surviving stage fright

As a kid, I loved soloing in choirs. But I hated speaking in front of the class, overcome with stage fright — my own private hell. 

As a favor to a new friend, I will resist triggering you with a detailed list of unpleasant-to-debilitating symptoms. You’re welcome. 

2 — Surmounting stage fright

I was choreographing a solo modern piece years later for a dance concert in college. Four weeks before the show, my old friend stage fright barged in hard to block me, claiming squatter’s rights. On my property. Out of nowhere, I invented a new deed & title to show him the door. 

If I give in to him, that guarantees that I drain all the joy from rehearsing to performing to the warm afterglow I wish to bask in. 

I don’t think so. He moved on. 

I was psyched, but relaxed, and the performance excelled. 

3 — Surpassing stage fright 

Now as a singer-songwriter, I share this one freely with newcomers: 

Performing is scary. I can help 1-2-3, but you have to trust me. And I have to say the word ****. 

When you perform, you’re suddenly so magnetic that you become everyone’s world. They all want to **** you. The least you can do is to make them feel like they are yours, too. That is, return the favor by signaling you are quite ready to **** them silly. You have a special privilege like bartenders and waiters who everybody falls in love with because they serve and give, nourish and nurture. Performers, with their job to entice, are automatically attractive. 

Performing is not about you, but what you serve up to your audience. 

Stage fright is about being wrapped up in me while stage presence is about what I bestow upon the audience. Focus on your delivery and ‘bringing it’, so stage fright — what was that about? — might just fade with the lights.

Hey, if you are adored by virtue of the role you took, you should reciprocate symbolically by rewarding the audience with a wonderful performance. 

A duel of love perhaps, a dance, a courtship for sure, entertaining holds the power to cast a spell over an audience, and performers do so as they step onstage, maybe even before the crowd settles. Believe me, you somehow bewitch them. Let that magic linger. 

When we host, we focus without worry on pleasing our guests, not ourselves. As performers, recognize that your guests all arrive hungry for your show, ready to enjoy, ready to love you. Yo’ goodies are baked in, if yet unearned. So earn it.